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500 Poems (I'm Not A Stalker)

from Are You There God? It's Me, Shakespeare by Shakespeare Approves!

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Lyrics by Daniel J. Kostelec
Arrangement by David Mikofsky

Interpolates "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers, Charles S. Reid / Craig M. Reid

lyrics

When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the Bard who wakes with thoughts of you
When I’m musing, yay I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the Bard who’s musing over you
When I’m writing, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the Bard who writes sonnets for you
And if I stalk you, yay I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the Bard who might be stalking you

But I would write 500 poems
And I would write 500 more
Just to be the Bard who wrote a thousand poems
And nailed them to your door

When I’m acting, yes I know I’m gonna be
The lover in a story about you
And when the royalties come in for the work I do
I’ll commission a Michaelangelo for you
When I sing this (when I sing this)
Well I know I’m gonna be,j
I’m gonna be the Bard who’s singing this to you
And when you’re sleeping, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the Bard who’s watching over you

But I would write 500 poems
And I would write 500 more
Just to be the Bard who wrote a thousand poems
And nailed them to your door

Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-no
Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-no

Your last haircut, did you know that I was there?
I was the Bard who picked your hair up off the floor
And when I’m dreaming, well I know I’m gonna dream
About the dress you wore last Saturday before
When you go out (when you go out),
Well you know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the Bard who’s two steps behind you
And I love you (oh, I love you)
Like Romeo loved Juliet
This isn’t creepy this is perfectly normal
There’s be less suicide, I know you’ll love me, too

But I would write 500 poems
And I would write 500 more
Just to be the Bard who wrote a thousand poems
And nailed them to your door

Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-no
Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny (nonny-nonny)
Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-nonny-no
Repeat

But I love you and I’m not a stalker
It’s just a very strong feeling
It may just be a mid-life crisis
‘Cuz I’ve got 3 kids and a mortgage

credits

from Are You There God? It's Me, Shakespeare, released September 18, 2018
Dan Kostelec, David Mikofsky, Erin Bernardi, Quinn Harley, Tony Stephen

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Shakespeare Approves! New York, New York

"Shakespeare Approves!" is a one-man, audience-interactive, improvisational Shakespeare show performing at Renaissance Faires, events, theaters, schools, parties, and mar mitzvahs around the country.

Teaming up with amazing musicians, he brings his particular brand of silly songs to you.
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